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My Plight

If there is one thing I think that everybody can agree on, it's that we do not need more time spent on assemblies. We have a concert for every season, a yearly "Don't do Drugs" session, and demonstrations of the yearly shows.

Now don't get me wrong, I personally love getting time away from my calculus classes, but we now have actual times dedicated to these assemblies.

Now I'm not too greedy a person, I will still gladly take any time I can to take a well deserved nap while people do a little song and dance in front of everyone, but now we have ourselves tiny little assemblies that take on the most niggling parts of the assemblies

What is a Mini-Assembly?

A mini-assembly is a time that occurs right before break in which anybody can share any thing they want for a bit of time. Sounds like a neat idea to get the community connected to each other but in the end, it just makes me irritated.

Firstly, it tends to bleed into our break time. I think I speak for much of the students when I say "Do not cut into my break time." Sometimes it can be the only respite students have during the day because they load themselves up with classes in the hopes of becoming the most overworked student of all time.

Secondly, it can be the most awkward thing when someone comes up with their presentation and you want to support them by listening intently, but none of us live so vivacious lives that I can care about every hobby

Thirdly, those who get tasked with making a presentation get roped in like it's a cult. I've observed how the teachers approach the students who get asked and it goes the same way every time

The Approach

Usually teachers wait until they hear a student talking about their hobbies or interests

Then they will come up and say, "Wow that's so interesting *insert name*! Would you be interested in sharing that with the school?"

Now the student, who likely was unprepared to sell everybody their hobby, but on the other hand does not want to disappoint a teacher will reply with something like "Y-yeah sure"

The thing is, I've watched them write down the student's name onto a list with all the other assembly people, but now what? Do they have a deadline? If the day comes for their assembly and the thought has been placed down the list in importance, do they just hide in the crowd? Wait everyone out? Is the list not a set in stone document?

What we should do otherwise

Now the thing is, I'm not very interesting a person. However, what if we all pretended we were and gave presentations on increasingly more ridiculous hobbies. "Hello, I'm *insert name*, and I tame lions in my free time." The best part about this plan is the fact that no one is going to call you on it. There is no system to check whether or not what you claim you are presenting is what you are actually presenting.

If someone has the gall to do it

If someone has the courage to pull one over on everybody and go up with really poorly photoshopped pictures with nothing but lies in the speech, they will have earned a spot in the school hall of fame. Maybe I'll write an entire article praising them or something.

Don't hold me to it

I'm really lazy